Dear Role Model,
Did you ever know that you're my hero? Not so much the wind beneath my wings, but rather the mouthy, badass, don't-mess with-me 17 year old broad my awkward, Christian-school attending, Betsy-Tacy-book reading 13 year old self longed to be.
As my big sister's best friend, I watched you and wanted to be just like you. When you and Susan deigned to spend time with me, it was a gift.
When I found out you were a Trump supporter, I was gobsmacked. You're fricking brilliant! You are well educated. You're a great mom. You are loving and kind and you still don't take any shit from anyone. You are who I wanted to be when I grew up! (And yes, the vast chasm of years between 50 and 54 is still as immense as it was back in 1978.)
I ended up blocking your posts on Facebook a few months ago. They made me sad. I know that in liberal old Massachusetts, many people think like me. Most all of my friends are left-wing nut-jobs. I am a teacher/librarian for crying out loud. I should have had a Hillary tattoo on my arm, right next to “Born to Read!”
But I know that in most other states, the ones in the middle, the ones I lived in before we “moved east” there are a lot of people who feel like you. Even women. Smart women. And they feel like they have been screwed over. “The Elites” are trying to tell them what to think. The power brokers in politics and “The Sheeple” who follow them and tacitly approve, are giving all the money and the good jobs to people who are different. And Isis hates us. And men in dresses want to go in our bathrooms and watch our children pee. And all the abortions. And they want to take our guns! It just has to stop.
And honestly, I know you are not all those women. And God knows there are other women I love, to whom I could never even attempt to explain my disappointment, who voted for not-Hillary.
I don't think I can articulate why her candidacy meant so much to me. I am crying as I write this. Just as I cried with joy when I cast my vote for her, when I drove down the highway to my friend LC's house to watch election results. I was singing along with Ry Cooder at the top of my lungs to “Women Will Rule the World”. I felt so powerful. A woman was going to be president. Mother-fracking PRESIDENT! And I got to see it happen.
And then it didn't. And I am so sad.
But it will happen, someday. Eventually somebody – maybe Elizabeth Warren (I bet you hate her!) or maybe one of my students, or the daughter of a friend, or someone's granddaughter – a woman not yet born. Someday a women will be elected. And I pray to see it. But every election year until then, this will be my happiest political memory. My false certainty that a woman I deeply respect, who has done nothing but help the people of this country, would be rewarded with the highest office in the land. That she could wrest this honor from the grip of a man about whom the kindest thing I can say is – he has not held public office or been known for any civic involvement – seemed sensible.
But I was wrong. And I am so, so sad.
And I don't mean to harsh your buzz, but those patriots that conservative women voted for are going to disappoint you. It is not going to get better for us. For women. Not for four years, and you can bet your bottom dollar I am right. They will pay lip service to the issues you care about. We're old broads now, I'm not worrying about anything I'm carrying around being grabbed like a small feline. But I work with teenage girls every day who are still being made to feel bad about their looks and their perceived worth. They are too hot or not hot enough. They are too flirty or not flirty enough. They are being judged by their peers and strangers in ways that are directly related to their status as women.
I think of them going to college in the next four years. And I am so so so so so sad.
President Hillary Clinton wasn't going to cure misogyny the way President Barack Obama didn't cure racism. But the conversation would have continued. Our voices would be heard in ways that have not yet been heard. And I sure would have liked to see it.
I don't begrudge you your happiness, or relief, or whatever you are feeling. I just felt like I wanted to have a record of what it feels like on the other side right now. I don't know if you will ever see this. Do I have the ovaries to brave your wrath by pointing you to this post? Hey, if you get mad – we've just got recreational marijuana legalized in Massachusetts. Come on up for a visit and I'll try to set you up and we can talk.
Love,
Barb
Did you ever know that you're my hero? Not so much the wind beneath my wings, but rather the mouthy, badass, don't-mess with-me 17 year old broad my awkward, Christian-school attending, Betsy-Tacy-book reading 13 year old self longed to be.
As my big sister's best friend, I watched you and wanted to be just like you. When you and Susan deigned to spend time with me, it was a gift.
When I found out you were a Trump supporter, I was gobsmacked. You're fricking brilliant! You are well educated. You're a great mom. You are loving and kind and you still don't take any shit from anyone. You are who I wanted to be when I grew up! (And yes, the vast chasm of years between 50 and 54 is still as immense as it was back in 1978.)
I ended up blocking your posts on Facebook a few months ago. They made me sad. I know that in liberal old Massachusetts, many people think like me. Most all of my friends are left-wing nut-jobs. I am a teacher/librarian for crying out loud. I should have had a Hillary tattoo on my arm, right next to “Born to Read!”
But I know that in most other states, the ones in the middle, the ones I lived in before we “moved east” there are a lot of people who feel like you. Even women. Smart women. And they feel like they have been screwed over. “The Elites” are trying to tell them what to think. The power brokers in politics and “The Sheeple” who follow them and tacitly approve, are giving all the money and the good jobs to people who are different. And Isis hates us. And men in dresses want to go in our bathrooms and watch our children pee. And all the abortions. And they want to take our guns! It just has to stop.
And honestly, I know you are not all those women. And God knows there are other women I love, to whom I could never even attempt to explain my disappointment, who voted for not-Hillary.
I don't think I can articulate why her candidacy meant so much to me. I am crying as I write this. Just as I cried with joy when I cast my vote for her, when I drove down the highway to my friend LC's house to watch election results. I was singing along with Ry Cooder at the top of my lungs to “Women Will Rule the World”. I felt so powerful. A woman was going to be president. Mother-fracking PRESIDENT! And I got to see it happen.
And then it didn't. And I am so sad.
But it will happen, someday. Eventually somebody – maybe Elizabeth Warren (I bet you hate her!) or maybe one of my students, or the daughter of a friend, or someone's granddaughter – a woman not yet born. Someday a women will be elected. And I pray to see it. But every election year until then, this will be my happiest political memory. My false certainty that a woman I deeply respect, who has done nothing but help the people of this country, would be rewarded with the highest office in the land. That she could wrest this honor from the grip of a man about whom the kindest thing I can say is – he has not held public office or been known for any civic involvement – seemed sensible.
But I was wrong. And I am so, so sad.
And I don't mean to harsh your buzz, but those patriots that conservative women voted for are going to disappoint you. It is not going to get better for us. For women. Not for four years, and you can bet your bottom dollar I am right. They will pay lip service to the issues you care about. We're old broads now, I'm not worrying about anything I'm carrying around being grabbed like a small feline. But I work with teenage girls every day who are still being made to feel bad about their looks and their perceived worth. They are too hot or not hot enough. They are too flirty or not flirty enough. They are being judged by their peers and strangers in ways that are directly related to their status as women.
I think of them going to college in the next four years. And I am so so so so so sad.
President Hillary Clinton wasn't going to cure misogyny the way President Barack Obama didn't cure racism. But the conversation would have continued. Our voices would be heard in ways that have not yet been heard. And I sure would have liked to see it.
I don't begrudge you your happiness, or relief, or whatever you are feeling. I just felt like I wanted to have a record of what it feels like on the other side right now. I don't know if you will ever see this. Do I have the ovaries to brave your wrath by pointing you to this post? Hey, if you get mad – we've just got recreational marijuana legalized in Massachusetts. Come on up for a visit and I'll try to set you up and we can talk.
Love,
Barb
<3
ReplyDeleteWhen Rich is done being married to you, I want to be married to you. Beautiful post, you.
ReplyDeletexxxxxx
Thank you Barb.
ReplyDeleteAmen sister!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Thank you. I have just felt so emptied out since I went to bed Tuesday night, asking Riley to wake me ONLY if HIllary won. I heard him come to bed and he did not wake me, and I knew for sure. But much earlier, when I went to bed, the handwriting was on the wall. I guess we are all trying to regain our equilibrium. How can anyone want a leader who hates so many people?
ReplyDeleteLOVED this post, Barb! Felt good to laugh after such a horrible week. Thank you...
ReplyDelete