Should this garment become a Mask?

Last week I cleaned out the extra closet in my son's room. The closet where I keep my "fancy dresses." That same day, I watched the movie About Time where the adorable Rachel McAdams, who heretofore appeared to have no style whatsoever, tries on a bunch of adorable dresses she just happens to have around the house. 

I thought to myself, I should try on all my adorable dresses! I quickly realized that most of them would be better utilized as facemasks. 

Well...you be the judge...

First up is Calm Blue Ocean - I bought it for my friend Maureen's wedding back in 1996. Maureen is such a good friend she let me pick the bridesmaid's dresses! So I went to Lane Bryant and bought this adorable thing. The irony is that none of the other bridesmaids were plus sized so they were swimming in their dresses (the smallest size available was a 14) but I looked terrific. The exact opposite of every fat-girl bridesmaid story ever!

It is called Calm Blue Ocean because Mo was freaking out before the ceremony and so the other two bridesmaids and I wrote the words Calm, Blue, and Ocean on one of our bosoms and flashed her, just before we started down the aisle. She laughed all the way to the edge of the cliff! (That isn't a metaphor, she got married on the edge of a cliff.)

It was a really fun wedding...

Another wedding dress! I wasn't a bridesmaid in this one, but I bought it for my brother in law's wedding. I danced and danced in it an I loved the way it felt, but the way it looked was another story. There is a weird scarf-y thing hanging down.

Basically, the only way I am keeping this is if I need to play Cha Cha DiGregorio in grease...

My dear friend Lady C gave me this dress. It is far chestier than I am comfortable with, but I love the way it feels on me. We shall see..

This dress has a very full skirt and feels like it should be really fun to spin in. Sadly, as you can see from the picture, spinning gives me very little joy nowadays what with being old. Vertigo in older people is real!

I alway thing of Modern Family when I get old lady dizziness...

This dress was purchased for the Betsy Tacy Convention at Dress Barn in my Massachusetts city. Imagine my surprise when I went to my co-organizer's room to pick her up for the evening's activities to find her wearing THE SAME DRESS that she bought independently from me in Portland, Oregon! Unintentional twins! It was magnificent...

My sister bought me this gorgeous dress that was 2 sizes too small. I could squeeze into it if I wore Spanx - unlikely! - but I loved the color and the style. Well, after finally losing the baby-weight only 2 years into "the baby's" high school graduation, it fits fine! I don't know when I will every wear it, but I don't think I can bear to lose it!

This is another aspirational size from my sister, but it feels lovely to wear it and I have a ton of little black sweaters I could wear over top. WHY are so many of my dresses sleeveless? Did I think I was someday going to have Michelle Obama arms??

I believe this is the dress I wore when I interviewed for my job, lo these 17 years ago. It is uncomfortable, unflattering and uncomfortable. It ticks all the boxes to get rid of it. And yet, it looks kind of cute in the picture. Marie Kondo would just punch me in the face if we ever met...

I bought this dress when I was in Paris in 2015 with the high school trip. I was so thrilled to find a dress that fit me in the city of lights that I bought the damn thing. 

I have NO IDEA what the weird  front pouch thing is for. I may try to make it more normal with my handy dandy sewing maching. We shall see if I can fix the fashion faux pas of the French. 

Oh the irony!

High class 1980s real estate agent by day/nursing home piano bar hostess by night. 

There is a lot to unpack with this particular outfit. It is a lot, and I will NEVER wear it. I just need to learn to say goodbye...

Okay, I have to keep this one - it was my wedding dress! I paid $17 for it at Lane Bryant. And it still fits! Yes, I look like a Quiver-full matriarch on Easter Sunday, but you just don't cut up your wedding dress. No matter how lame...
































I was going to end with the wedding dress, but I thought I should put this on in. In the time between when I took these pictures and I wrote this post, I wore this bizarrely heavy little number with a warm shirt underneath as a "house dress" and I fell in love! The chestiness factor was mitigated by the pockets and swirly skirt. This little thrift store find is a keeper!*




















*

Not Quite a Year

[As I was going to start keeping track of my Covid-19 era experience, I found this, unposted, in my blog slop pile so I put it up and tried to reconstruct it from memory...]

Look at me posting TWICE in 262 days. How will I keep up the pace.
I am currently in the Gale Family Library at the Minnesota Historical Society waiting to read the correspondance of my favorite writer ever - Maud Hart Lovelace. 
So to kill the time while they torture me with a lack of resources I will do a little travel blogging.

Here is a wee picture of me leaving the house with my car packed to the gills. How I was going to fit another person and her various and sundries was a mystery to me. But I did. My partner - who I shall refer to by her (well earned) blogging name of Lady Chardonnay until I get permission to ID her - packed in an uncharacteristically understated manner and we were able to wedge her shit in the back seat and hit the road. In the pouring rain. It didn't bode well, but we persevered. 

Here are Lady C and I hitting the road with our faces full of hope and joy. It won't last... Just kidding! (But with the hindsight of being on day 4, I have to say we look waaaaaay to optimistic! 
Lady C has been building an amazing itinerary for our trip for weeks and she cross referenced all our overnights with the greatest sandwiches in each state in the US according to People Magazine. (And if you can't trust People...) We aren't hitting any this far east, but when we get to the wild west, watch out! 

I have pledged this trip to eat nothing from chain restaurants. Unless that chain is unavailable to me at home. (The need for this loophole will become very apparent shortly...) thought that I would help us on our quest to eat fantastic regional food by consulting roadfood.com. They have reviews of local places conveniently mapped out. They had raved about Phil's Chicken House so we decided to try Phil. His chicken was excellent, but his mashed potatoes were meh. And I am very forgiving about mashed potatoes. But they had the best banana cream pie I have ever tasted. Sorry mom!




Our first nights lodgings were in Bradford, PA - we covered a little over 500 miles and were feeling pretty accomplished. We decided to celebrate with a trip to the Zippo Lighter Museum. 
I tried to help out some soldiers at the museum, told them of the dangers of smoking. They were unmoved. I bought a Zippo with Rosie the Riveter on it. It sounds just like the one my dad used to have!
Then we were off to Nancy's house. She was a wonderful hostess. Her house is adorable with built-in bookcases, full of great books, just like any Betsy Tacy friend I have ever had. 
You will just have to imagine what it looks like though because I am not great at remember to take pictures...

Here is one, though! We went to Beefeaters for dinner which is in a former Carnegie Library! The food was amazing and I had BEEF for dinner. At this point I should just change my name to the Beefeater. It is becoming problematic. Alas...the road...
We had a lovely dinner and I spent night one on the couch. I am not a fussy sleeper as a rule and Nancy's couch was a double-wide and so comfy, it felt bed-like. 

The next day we hit the road for Chi-town, the windy city. In my house we always say it that way. Because we're annoying. 
As we drove by my parents' neck of the woods west of Cleveland, Lady C said, "I can't believe you are not going to stop and see your mom." I said, "I'll call her and tell her I'm in town. She won't care, my sister is visiting, she's got plenty of family around." So I called her and she said (in a wee little voice), "Oooh, you're so close..." So I pulled off the highway and had a potty break at her place. She told me when I showed up, "If you hadn't stopped here, you'd be in big trouble!" So, good thing, I guess...

We stopped near Toledo for lunch with my step-brother Don and his awesome wife Jill and they fed us like crazy. We had a grand time, so much so that I neglected to take a picture.
Next up - Chicago!

Lady C was staying with another Betsy Tacy friend and I was going to my favorite destination - Mandi and Pete's.
I dropped Lady C off at the library where Shelley works and took a snap of this quote that is exactly my philosophy of
"morals" in books for children. (Which is basically, you'd better not let me catch you putting in a moral...)

This was my first Culver's sighting, always worth remembering! It was on my way from the library where I dropped Lady C off, to Mandi and Pete's.

Of course Mandi and Pete fed me like I was going to the chair!

I loved this magnet on Mandi's fridge. Don't know why I don't call it Pete's fridge. I just don't...

This is one of their babies, I don't remember his or her name, but a lovely canine friend. 

We met these charming ladies at The Seven Dwarfs Family Restaurant in Wheaton. So delicious and so much fun!












More Culvers, but mostly my cute nails. At this point I stopped putting Culvers pictures in because if I documented every chocolate concrete, it would just be embarrassing. 
















We finally got to the holy land - Minnesota! We met Lady C's brother and his lovely wife and had several cocktails and a lovely dinner. 













I eventually spent a ton of time at the Gale Library at the Minnesota Historical Society. But you will have to read my memoir to get that interesting dirt!