Wherein I Watch the School Committee Meeting So You Don't Have To.

 [You're welcome!]

So full disclosure, I watched this meeting at 2x speed which was glorious! Sue Charochak was the best - I could barely understand her she talks so fast. This is a compliment. I love a fast talker. I also earned a new appreciation for Betty Taylor's excellent diction. Hey, our administrators know elocution.

So they start out with an explanation of the new format.

[fast forward]

They then discuss the minutes from the last meeting.

[fast forward]

They briefly mention the contract. There will be a public meeting on September 9 and people can email questions at citizensconcerns@beverlyschools.org - send your concerns! The meeting might be hybrid, but I wouldn't hold your breath. Unless you are attending the meeting. Then I would definitely advise holding your breath.

There was some talk about school committee members' social media usage and I couldn't care less. Other than to point out this well-meaning quote, "Just as our digital literacy courses try to warn our students, we should not put anything online unless we would be comfortable seeing it on a billboard." To which I reply, with all due respect - WHAT DIGITAL LITERACY COURSES??? ARGH!! Do they think we have elementary school librarians too? This is nothing against the speaker, but this is a gaping hole that needs to be addressed and people don't seem to be aware that there is a hole. We have a first rate tech department, but they can't do EVERYTHING! They provide computer literacy. Digital literacy is an INFORMATION issue, not a technology issue. Good grief.  Okay, fine...moving on...

There was a brief mention of the lawsuit about the accused behind the scenes chicanery. My personal opinion is that they have enough on their plate right now and this should be addressed after we get school going. But FREEDOM, I guess...

Then it's the Sue Show!

The agenda:

Basic mask stuff - no gaiters and if anyone refuses they will be removed and shot. I mean just removed. Plan accordingly...

Cleaning - potties will be cleaned day and night. There will be lots of cleaning.

I was VERY excited to hear about BEVERLY PUBLIC SCHOOLS AFTER DARK! It sounds exciting! But first more health stuff...drat... Basically, we're not getting free testing because we are doing so well, virus-wise. 

Sadly, BEVERLY PUBLIC SCHOOLS AFTER DARK is not a glorious educational rave, but rather the Essex Tech program. We have some kids doing it and it sounds great. Well done.

Athletics? Who cares?? Well, okay, some people. Not me. I screenshotted the slide and fast forwarded...

Then there is information on enrollment for those who are curious. I shan't say if I was curious. 

And then Betty Taylor came on to answer questions about AP and electives and she is on top of it and assured the questioner that guidance will be on top of graduation requirements. And can I just say that I am so glad to work for a high school that understands that we are in a crazy time right now and we are not in the business of drawing lines in the sand, but rather making sure every student gets what they need in the format that they need it to the best of our ability? Thanks, Betty.

Then open session was quickly ended. They went to executive session to talk about collective bargaining and I hope pour a generous cocktail. They earned it for being in this meeting in real time!

Should this garment become a Mask?

Last week I cleaned out the extra closet in my son's room. The closet where I keep my "fancy dresses." That same day, I watched the movie About Time where the adorable Rachel McAdams, who heretofore appeared to have no style whatsoever, tries on a bunch of adorable dresses she just happens to have around the house. 

I thought to myself, I should try on all my adorable dresses! I quickly realized that most of them would be better utilized as facemasks. 

Well...you be the judge...

First up is Calm Blue Ocean - I bought it for my friend Maureen's wedding back in 1996. Maureen is such a good friend she let me pick the bridesmaid's dresses! So I went to Lane Bryant and bought this adorable thing. The irony is that none of the other bridesmaids were plus sized so they were swimming in their dresses (the smallest size available was a 14) but I looked terrific. The exact opposite of every fat-girl bridesmaid story ever!

It is called Calm Blue Ocean because Mo was freaking out before the ceremony and so the other two bridesmaids and I wrote the words Calm, Blue, and Ocean on one of our bosoms and flashed her, just before we started down the aisle. She laughed all the way to the edge of the cliff! (That isn't a metaphor, she got married on the edge of a cliff.)

It was a really fun wedding...

Another wedding dress! I wasn't a bridesmaid in this one, but I bought it for my brother in law's wedding. I danced and danced in it an I loved the way it felt, but the way it looked was another story. There is a weird scarf-y thing hanging down.

Basically, the only way I am keeping this is if I need to play Cha Cha DiGregorio in grease...

My dear friend Lady C gave me this dress. It is far chestier than I am comfortable with, but I love the way it feels on me. We shall see..

This dress has a very full skirt and feels like it should be really fun to spin in. Sadly, as you can see from the picture, spinning gives me very little joy nowadays what with being old. Vertigo in older people is real!

I alway thing of Modern Family when I get old lady dizziness...

This dress was purchased for the Betsy Tacy Convention at Dress Barn in my Massachusetts city. Imagine my surprise when I went to my co-organizer's room to pick her up for the evening's activities to find her wearing THE SAME DRESS that she bought independently from me in Portland, Oregon! Unintentional twins! It was magnificent...

My sister bought me this gorgeous dress that was 2 sizes too small. I could squeeze into it if I wore Spanx - unlikely! - but I loved the color and the style. Well, after finally losing the baby-weight only 2 years into "the baby's" high school graduation, it fits fine! I don't know when I will every wear it, but I don't think I can bear to lose it!

This is another aspirational size from my sister, but it feels lovely to wear it and I have a ton of little black sweaters I could wear over top. WHY are so many of my dresses sleeveless? Did I think I was someday going to have Michelle Obama arms??

I believe this is the dress I wore when I interviewed for my job, lo these 17 years ago. It is uncomfortable, unflattering and uncomfortable. It ticks all the boxes to get rid of it. And yet, it looks kind of cute in the picture. Marie Kondo would just punch me in the face if we ever met...

I bought this dress when I was in Paris in 2015 with the high school trip. I was so thrilled to find a dress that fit me in the city of lights that I bought the damn thing. 

I have NO IDEA what the weird  front pouch thing is for. I may try to make it more normal with my handy dandy sewing maching. We shall see if I can fix the fashion faux pas of the French. 

Oh the irony!

High class 1980s real estate agent by day/nursing home piano bar hostess by night. 

There is a lot to unpack with this particular outfit. It is a lot, and I will NEVER wear it. I just need to learn to say goodbye...

Okay, I have to keep this one - it was my wedding dress! I paid $17 for it at Lane Bryant. And it still fits! Yes, I look like a Quiver-full matriarch on Easter Sunday, but you just don't cut up your wedding dress. No matter how lame...
































I was going to end with the wedding dress, but I thought I should put this on in. In the time between when I took these pictures and I wrote this post, I wore this bizarrely heavy little number with a warm shirt underneath as a "house dress" and I fell in love! The chestiness factor was mitigated by the pockets and swirly skirt. This little thrift store find is a keeper!*




















*

Not Quite a Year

[As I was going to start keeping track of my Covid-19 era experience, I found this, unposted, in my blog slop pile so I put it up and tried to reconstruct it from memory...]

Look at me posting TWICE in 262 days. How will I keep up the pace.
I am currently in the Gale Family Library at the Minnesota Historical Society waiting to read the correspondance of my favorite writer ever - Maud Hart Lovelace. 
So to kill the time while they torture me with a lack of resources I will do a little travel blogging.

Here is a wee picture of me leaving the house with my car packed to the gills. How I was going to fit another person and her various and sundries was a mystery to me. But I did. My partner - who I shall refer to by her (well earned) blogging name of Lady Chardonnay until I get permission to ID her - packed in an uncharacteristically understated manner and we were able to wedge her shit in the back seat and hit the road. In the pouring rain. It didn't bode well, but we persevered. 

Here are Lady C and I hitting the road with our faces full of hope and joy. It won't last... Just kidding! (But with the hindsight of being on day 4, I have to say we look waaaaaay to optimistic! 
Lady C has been building an amazing itinerary for our trip for weeks and she cross referenced all our overnights with the greatest sandwiches in each state in the US according to People Magazine. (And if you can't trust People...) We aren't hitting any this far east, but when we get to the wild west, watch out! 

I have pledged this trip to eat nothing from chain restaurants. Unless that chain is unavailable to me at home. (The need for this loophole will become very apparent shortly...) thought that I would help us on our quest to eat fantastic regional food by consulting roadfood.com. They have reviews of local places conveniently mapped out. They had raved about Phil's Chicken House so we decided to try Phil. His chicken was excellent, but his mashed potatoes were meh. And I am very forgiving about mashed potatoes. But they had the best banana cream pie I have ever tasted. Sorry mom!




Our first nights lodgings were in Bradford, PA - we covered a little over 500 miles and were feeling pretty accomplished. We decided to celebrate with a trip to the Zippo Lighter Museum. 
I tried to help out some soldiers at the museum, told them of the dangers of smoking. They were unmoved. I bought a Zippo with Rosie the Riveter on it. It sounds just like the one my dad used to have!
Then we were off to Nancy's house. She was a wonderful hostess. Her house is adorable with built-in bookcases, full of great books, just like any Betsy Tacy friend I have ever had. 
You will just have to imagine what it looks like though because I am not great at remember to take pictures...

Here is one, though! We went to Beefeaters for dinner which is in a former Carnegie Library! The food was amazing and I had BEEF for dinner. At this point I should just change my name to the Beefeater. It is becoming problematic. Alas...the road...
We had a lovely dinner and I spent night one on the couch. I am not a fussy sleeper as a rule and Nancy's couch was a double-wide and so comfy, it felt bed-like. 

The next day we hit the road for Chi-town, the windy city. In my house we always say it that way. Because we're annoying. 
As we drove by my parents' neck of the woods west of Cleveland, Lady C said, "I can't believe you are not going to stop and see your mom." I said, "I'll call her and tell her I'm in town. She won't care, my sister is visiting, she's got plenty of family around." So I called her and she said (in a wee little voice), "Oooh, you're so close..." So I pulled off the highway and had a potty break at her place. She told me when I showed up, "If you hadn't stopped here, you'd be in big trouble!" So, good thing, I guess...

We stopped near Toledo for lunch with my step-brother Don and his awesome wife Jill and they fed us like crazy. We had a grand time, so much so that I neglected to take a picture.
Next up - Chicago!

Lady C was staying with another Betsy Tacy friend and I was going to my favorite destination - Mandi and Pete's.
I dropped Lady C off at the library where Shelley works and took a snap of this quote that is exactly my philosophy of
"morals" in books for children. (Which is basically, you'd better not let me catch you putting in a moral...)

This was my first Culver's sighting, always worth remembering! It was on my way from the library where I dropped Lady C off, to Mandi and Pete's.

Of course Mandi and Pete fed me like I was going to the chair!

I loved this magnet on Mandi's fridge. Don't know why I don't call it Pete's fridge. I just don't...

This is one of their babies, I don't remember his or her name, but a lovely canine friend. 

We met these charming ladies at The Seven Dwarfs Family Restaurant in Wheaton. So delicious and so much fun!












More Culvers, but mostly my cute nails. At this point I stopped putting Culvers pictures in because if I documented every chocolate concrete, it would just be embarrassing. 
















We finally got to the holy land - Minnesota! We met Lady C's brother and his lovely wife and had several cocktails and a lovely dinner. 













I eventually spent a ton of time at the Gale Library at the Minnesota Historical Society. But you will have to read my memoir to get that interesting dirt!

Hey Ho Way to Go Ohio...

I'm back on the road.

Currently I am at a rest stop in well according to my phone my location is "parked car near I-80 180 feet away." I'm 20 miles outside of Toledo on my way to Owosso and one of the best people in the world - my cousin Sharon.

My end point is the Betsy Tacy Convention in Minneapolis, but really, the point is the trip, right? I have decided my challenge this trip is to dip my feet into all of the Great Lakes. I had planned to "swim" in them until I felt the temperature of Lake Ontario on Thursday.
Yeah, that's not going to happen...

In the interest of well, I guess not having to proofread my dreadful typing, I have made a video blog or a "vlog" in the super-modern parlance of the day. I don't know if I will keep this up as it involves an entirely new type of editing at which I do NOT excel. But for now you can view my handiwork below.

If you are a Betsy Tacy fan and are only watching this for what is sure to be a slightly disappointing reveal at the end. You can skip to the 6:30 mark. Also, if you are watching the whole thing, there is a bit of a pause at the beginning that could have been avoided with the aforementioned editing skills but we covered this. Just keep your expectations fairly low.

The Barbie Award Goes To...

I had every intention of doing in depth, brilliant reviews of every film I saw over vacation, but there is much television to watch and I have to go back to work tomorrow so... Of the 7 movies I saw over vacation:

• LADYBIRD
• THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI
• I, TONYA
• THE SHAPE OF WATER
• DARKEST HOUR
• ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD
• STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

I have chosen my favorite. I have links to the ones I have reviewed already and will add the one to LADYBIRD when I get around to writing it. The world will need to continue to spin without me revealing what I thought of the last two on the list. They were all great - but plenty has been written about them because of Ridley Scott excising Kevin Spacey from ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD and replacing him with Christopher Plummer and because STARWARS is, well STARWARS.

Okay - geeze, don't start whining - here are my thumbnail reviews.

AtMitW - Michelle Williams is unbelievable, Charlie Plummer is heartbreaking and Christopher Plummer clearly is some sort of mega-human. And I got to see Mark from BROADCHURCH (Andrew Buchan) as a loving dad/junkie wreck - quit making me sad Andrew Buchan. Make a romantic comedy for heaven's sake, let a girl just enjoy your face without knowing how tortured you are! The story was a bit long, but it had me wikipedia-ing the story for an hour after, so clearly, I didn't want to let go it it.

SW:TLJ - In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit I slept through most of the middle of this movie. I can't help it. Flying through space and shit blowing up makes me snooze in self defense. But I went to the bathroom, looked at a recap and caught up for the excellent ending. My favorite part was the Cantina/Casino and those giant bunny/horse thingies and, of course, Benicio del Toro and his speech impediment. And yes, I cried at the end when Rey and Ren talk about her parents. Because I am not made of stone.

And now to the business at hand...

I'm not going to make you wait for it. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI beat the competition by a hair. I have to say that LADYBIRD gave me a bit more of the feels and was better constructed, but for me, movies are all about performance. While LADYBIRD's performances were flawless - so were THREE BILLBOARDS. And BILLBOARDS had more of them.

Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell and Woody Harrelson get major billing - richly earned. I have loved McDormand and Rockwell in every single thing I have seen them in EVER. I am not ashamed that my favorite McDormand performance is in RAISING ARIZONA (Gotta have his dip-tets!) and Rockwell will always be Guy (What's my last name???) from GALAXY QUEST. Harrelson is excellent often (ZOMBIELAND and TRUE DETECTIVE most recently) although he doesn't have one performance that I love above all others.

All three of them are tremendous.

McDormand is steel. She plays blue collar Mildred whose daughter has been murdered. She knows she wasn't a great mamma to her little girl when she was alive. A heartbreaking flashback of her last conversation with her daughter and her treatment of her surviving son show that she is often, with her children and the world at large, far more interested in scoring points than understanding others' perspectives. And she takes no prisoners when she demands that the local police keep the heat on the investigation of her daughter's murder.

Rockwell looks like he is going to be the goofy sidekick. He seems an unredeemable buffoon, but as the story unwinds, he shows us his soft white underbelly. And a little shout-out here to Sandy Martin who plays his Mama - she has been acting since the year I was born - how have I never seen her before? Rockwell has a slack-jawed look and an ineffectual sneer that do a lot of heavy lifting in an otherwise nuanced performance.

I can't say much about Harrelson. He is the moral compass of the movie until he isn't. Or is he? His best day ever is a montage of great parenting, a loving marriage and a stunning choice. Damn, Wood, way to bring it.

But then you have the secondary characters. Lucas Hedges, Peter Dinklage, Caleb Landry Jones and John Hawkes are all in this movie too - an embarrassment of riches!

What the heck, Lucas Hedges? Is is your job to break my heart every Christmas vacation? Last year I met him in MANCHESTER BY THE SEA and I'm not bragging, but he was in my town to film that. As a matter of fact, I was at Rite Aid right across the street from the funeral parlor where he was shooting a scene. So we are practically acquaintances. He was in both LADYBIRD and THREE BILLBOARDS which I saw back to back. The combined impact of his two performances was enough to rattle my teeth. This kid has talent. He is still kind of lumpy and teenaged,  but I can not wait to see how he evolves as an actor. He played similar grieving kids in MbtS and 3B - but they were definitely two different guys. More on his LADYBIRD performance when I get around to that one.

I have loved Peter Dinklage since THE STATION AGENT and his Tyrion Lannister has only made me love him more. He is a bit of a sad sack in this movie, but not as closed off as in TSA. He is kind of a pit of need, but a sexy, self-aware, stalwartly dependable pit of need. And his jawline is magnificent, both aesthetically, and as a way of showing the tension his character has to deal with in his small town life every day.

I knew Caleb Landry Jones had recently freaked me out in a movie lately and it took IMDB-ing this film to remind me where I had seen him. He was the asshat brother in GET OUT which I watched three times in two days this fall. His performance here was strong, but what really got me was the fact that I couldn't ID where I'd seen him previously. Part of that could be my menopause brain, but part of that could be his having a face that essentially looks the same all the time, as faces do, but at the same time being unrecognizable from role to role. I call this the Jessica Chasten effect. I saw her in THE HELP and THE DEBT on the same day and looked her up twice because I couldn't believe it was her in both roles.

And finally John Hawkes. He makes me feel funny inside. From Uncle Teardrop in WINTER'S BONE to the creepy cult leader in MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE the the thankfully not terrifying Mark in THE SESSIONS (an iron lung has never looked sexier) - he has a charisma that just can not be ignored. As Mildred's mercurial ex, he has a Just-for-Men dyed head of hair that could stop a bullet, a 19 year old girlfriend who smells like poop (don't blame me, it's in the script), a mean streak and a right hook that comes out of nowhere. It's a small role, but it packs a punch.



So even though I think that LADYBIRD is a better movie - this is the movie that I most enjoyed - well maybe "enjoyed" is not the right word, but I couldn't look away, I didn't want to at any point.  So I will just call it my best moviegoing experience of vacation week.

THE SHAPE OF WATER - Silence is Golden

I knew I would find THE SHAPE OF WATER interesting. I knew it would be visually arresting. I didn't expect it to pack such an emotional punch!

The story is the same old thing - girl meets fish/man, girl falls in love with fish/man, girls joins forces with Communist spy to rescue fish/man, girl floods bathroom to have standing up sex with fish/man... You know the drill.

The film has an interesting cast - it features three of my all time favorite male character actors and two highly regarded female actors that I tend to underestimate - and they all brought it HARD!

First off is Sally Hawkins. I had only previously seen her in HAPPY-GO-LUCKY which I thought was great, although I found her a little irritating. My expectations were meh. But without a word -except for one glorious fantasy sequence - she gradually lets you into the incredibly rich inner life of Elisa Esposito - a mute cleaning lady at a government facility. I'm sorry I doubted you, Sally.

The other apology goes to Octavia Spencer. The camera loves this woman. In every movie in which I have seen her, she has been a no nonsense, truth telling presence and I kind of considered that her schtick. Here, there is more of the same - but the fact that she does this often doesn't mean that she doesn't do it perfectly. Her running monologue when she and the Hawkins character go about their daily cleaning tasks is truthful and illuminating. She doesn't talk to hear the sound of her own voice. She is clearly having a conversation, despite the fact that her partner is non-verbal.

Michael Stuhlbarg is always interesting. Okay, I've only seen him in MEN IN BLACK 3 and A SERIOUS MAN, but he was hella interesting in both. Here he speaks two languages and communicates awkwardly in both. His character charmed me for most of the movie and disappointed me at the end, but Stuhlbarg was a master throughout.

Michael Shannon's style of communication is just the worst. I am seriously conflicted about Michael Shannon. He creeped me out the minute he appeared on screen in REVOLUTIONARY ROAD and cemented his stuff-of-nightmares-ness in BOARDWALK EMPIRE. He didn't do me any favors in this film either. His style of communication is offensive in its brusqueness. His casual racism, his self-aggrandizement and his bathroom habits are just gross. And yet, he is fantastic. I would have thought that the girl-on-fish/man action late in the movie would have been the most uncomfortable sex scene I would see that day, but honestly - it was delicately done and beautiful. Shannon and his wife have missionary-style suburban daytime sex and it is just icky. Who'd have thunk?

Richard Jenkins never disappoints. He plays a closeted, musical-loving sixty-ish gentleman who communicates beautifully with Elisa but awkwardly with everyone else. He is a painter who has had drinking issues and a lot of cats. He is also a man of integrity who can be counted on to do the right thing as much as he can. His timid vanity and his stalwart heart are just spectacular.




This is a strange, beautiful movie that has a lot of layers. Go see it.