Betsy Tacy Forever!

Fear of missing out is not a new phenomenon. Many of the worst decisions of my life can be attributed to wanting to be where the action is, rather than being where I should be to get things done. (See entire college education, 1984-1989.)

In the works of Maud Hart Lovelace, the newly acronym-ed FoMo plays a role, even in the early 20^th century. In HEAVEN TO BETSY, when Betsy is honored with a place in the essay contest, she blows her preparation time because of a slew of parties to honor a friends who is moving away. In BETSY IN SPITE OF HERSELF Cab and Tony are supposed to read the noble work of IVANHOW the night before there sophomore year of high school begins. Instead, they decide to hang out at the Ray's, making fudge and singing tunes. Emily Webster of the apocryphal EMILY OF DEEP VALLEY attends the sleigh ride from hell when her friends are home from college even though she knows she is on a pity date and she will be spending the entire evening shivering in the Minnesota winter while her best friend and cousin unknowingly flirts with the undeserving boy who holds her heart. But she doesn't want to miss out.

There are a lot of parallels to current teenage behavior (and adult behavior, too) in these books. Instead of going to Five Guys to celebrate the last night of summer, Betsy and Tacy take a picnic up on the big hill. When Carney's beau Larry moves away to California, Betsy helps her get over it with the 1907 equivalent of listening to Fall Out Boy and binge watching Gilmore Girls – she listens to Carney play classical pieces on the piano and reads out loud to her when she sews. And Betsy's Christmas in Milwaukee is her own French/Music/Spanish trip – the first somewhat-independent trip that is a rite of passage for current upper middle class girls. Especially those who want to come home dramatic and mysterious.

The reason I love these books so much is because even though they are set in a very specific time, the experience of being a high school student generally shares the same emotional arc. Certainly not for everyone, but for many smart girls who like to read and write. And I was (and remain) just that sort of smart girl. Maud Hart lived that arc in the aughts, my mom did it in the 50s, I did it in the 80s and there are the same things going on now in the twenty-teens. Is it the lattice of coincidence? The circle of life? The wind beneath my wings? Perhaps not, but it is a shared experience of young womanhood that Ms Lovelace was brilliant at putting on the page.

Walkin' Back to Making America Great Again...

So I was listening to a Pandora station earlier tonight and the “inspiration” for the it was the song WALKIN' BACK TO HAPPINESS by Nancy Shapiro. Now I had never heard of Nancy Shapiro – I knew the song from a movie and chose it based on having heard that on the soundtrack – but she was voted Britain's “Top Female Singer” in 1962 when she was 16 years old. So a lot of the songs that were played were early '60s girl group kinds of things.

The first song that came up was Lesley Gore's THAT'S THE WAY BOYS ARE. Well, that blew my mind. The lyrics forgive a bunch of really passive-aggressive behaviors with the phrase “that's the way boys are.” And I learned from this song that in 1964, boys were real assholes. According to Richard Aquila (and my pals at wikipedia) this song's lyrics “voice the era's acceptance of sexual double standards” and Walter Everett (a musicologist) says it “perpetuated a boys will be boys tolerance for male, but not female, infidelity.” The first line is about how she feels so awful when he check's out other girls, but she just suppresses those rebellious feelings because, for heaven's sake, he is a boy. They are wired for objectifying women! (Spoiler, when they have a fight it is Lesley's fault.) This is the girl who sang YOU DON'T OWN ME, so it makes this a little tough to take.

But next up is Bo Diddley's CHEYENNE. And that CHEYENNE was up to all kinds of mischief. Manly mischief. It was a good time to be a manly man...

Then Bobby Darin tells us how he wants SOMEBODY TO LOVE. You see, he was off chasing fortune and fame, but all he wants now is a good, good girl to spend his life with. (And she damn well better be good!) He wants to change her name. He is even willing to give up his roaming ways. I think that means he may even stop having sex with other girls for her! (But he might not be able to because he is a boy, after all.)

These are all love songs, but the pining kind. ONE FINE DAY, STAY, TELL HIM – lots of instructions about how to make these crazy teenage relationships work. There was one song by Nancy Shapiro (Britain's Top Female Singer!) called WHEN THE RAINS CAME that seemed like it might be about agriculture. But no, it was a metaphor for love - chaste, sweet love. So much romance and longing in these songs, but no one is getting it on! Except maybe Cheyenne, he had a lot going on. And Bobby Darin back before he quit his roaming ways. Let's put it this way, the boys were getting it somewhere, but not from these nice singing girls!

Susan Maugham hit the jackpot with best song of the night with BOBBY'S GIRL. Okay, Susie, you have one way and one way only to show the whole world that you are grown up now. Are you going to do really well in school? Are you going to help those less fortunate? Maybe you should run for office! Nope, not going to happen. You are putting your eggs in one basket. A basket named Bobby. Being his girl is the pinnacle. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself – the gift of a boy! Admittedly, he's a boy who has someone else and probably doesn't even know who you are, but his love is the only goal worth achieving here! You will be a thankful, faithful girl. And that is the most important thing a girl can be!

Admittedly, I love the feel of these songs. I even like the romanticism of the lyrics and the nostalgic sexism behind them, but it dawned on me as I was listening that these are the songs that 70 year old men grew up listening to. No wonder they want to make America great again! Boys got to do all the fun stuff and girls basically waited around to be noticed. Right around the corner we have the summer of love where everyone gets a seat at the table, eventually Madonna shows up, followed by Lady Gaga and Beyonce. It occurs to me that I don't listen to much modern pop music - give me the Grateful Dead and the Rolling Stones, please – (and don't mock me for thinking that Madonna is modern pop music) and I am not sure exactly what these ladies want out of life. But I am pretty sure it isn't to be Bobby's girl.

But as the worm turns, politically, and feminism is still considered a dirty word in many quarters, these songs I listened to tonight made it clear that there was some programming in the culture that made it seem like if, you weren't a girl, it was pretty awesome to be a roaming, adventuring fellow, secure in the knowledge that when you were ready to settle down you would have a good, good girl waiting for you. And with this kind of advertising it is no wonder that some old guys (and some young guys, and some women who don't have a real grasp of the concept of equality) want to find a way to get these gals back in the kitchen making those sandwiches and remembering who it is who wears the pants in this great country of ours!

Oscar Contender Holiday Movies

I already reviewed Lion earlier in the week. Here are the rest of the movies I went to see over Christmas vacation.

Tuesday 12/27 – La La Land – Liberty Tree Mall – with niece Yvonne

also

Saturday 12/31 – La La Land – Liberty Tree Mall – with L L Lizbeth

Yvonne and I both were dying to see this one and we both fell in love with it. Lizbeth and I planned on being movie buddies over vacation so when she got home, I went to see it with her for a second time.

It was magnificent. The music was beautiful, the cinematography was delightful, there was a ton of chemistry between the leads. There was so much to love about this movie! Story is girl flips off boy in traffic, boy snubs girl, girl tortures boy in 80s band act of revenge, boy gets girl, jazz, acting and fate step in.

The first time I saw this movie I had a huge smile on my face, the second time I cried throughout the whole thing. (This could be a me problem.) But both times I left the theater grateful for having been there. On the first viewing, I applauded at the end of several of the musical numbers and so did other members of the audience. When I went later in the week, I still applauded but was looked at askance by other members of the audience for my enthusiasm.

This movie gets a high 5 on the Barb-o-Meter and is recommended for everyone who values creativity and understands the idea that love is a gift.

Wednesday 12/28 – Rogue One – Liberty Tree Mall – el Guapo, the boys and nephew Drew.

Yes, it was fantastic. It reminded me of The Dirty Dozen, but in space. Sure, I slept though about 62% of it. But the parts I stayed awake for were magnificent. I don't suppose there are people who look at a Star Wars movie and think, “Well, I'll wait to see how the reviews come in and then decide if I am going to spend my $11 on it.” You're pretty much legally obligated to go see it. And we were no exception. There is this Death Star being built and it is going to be a big deal. There are some plans for it and finding these plans will allow the rebel alliance to make 6 or 9 more movies (depending on how you count them) so they must be found. Someone on the internet posted about how the Galactic Empire really needs to employ better archivists for their records. I concur.

Seeing this movie the day after Carrie Fisher passed away added an emotional bump I wasn't expecting.

I give this one a 3.5 out of 5 – it was loud and violent and couldn't really keep me awake. But the parts I saw were excellent.

Wednesday 12/28 – The Lobster – my living room – el Guapo, even though he claimed he wasn't watching it

This was a strange, strange movie. It had actors that I love – Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz play the strange people who fall in love. And Olivia Colman showed up as the hotel manager to surprise me, I always love her.

The premise is that everyone must be coupled. You must have a partner. (Don't have a moving buddy? Get one!!) When Colin Farrell's wife leaves him for another nearsighted man, he is sent to a hotel where he has 45 days to find a partner or he will be turned into a lobster. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? There is a dog (who used to be Farrell's character's brother), the gorgeous, unrecognizable Ben Whishaw as a man with a limp, John C. Reilly sporting a lisp and a cruel woman played by Angeliki Papoulia who I have never heard of, but will be keeping an eye out for. It got a 90% fresh rating from Rotten Tomatoes critics, but only 60% from normal people. And this makes sense. The ending is abrupt and leaves you to decide what actually happened.

I gave this movie a 3 out of 5, but I feel like if I were to watch it again, the score would go up because I wouldn't have to wait for it to begin to make sense. I recommend this movie to people who are secure in their relationship status (be they paired or single), have an open mind and aren't planing on getting LASIK surgery any time soon.

Thursday 12/29 – Manchester by the Sea – The Cabot – el Guapo and LLLizbeth

Well we had to go see this at our local cinema what with it being filmed in the Garden City! There were several local landmarks in view. First off, the table that my colleagues and I sit at on Friday afternoons at Fibber McGee's was on display during an early scene. Beverly Hospital where my younger son was born and the funeral parlor across from Rite Aid both were settings for important parts of the story. There is one point where if the camera had been pointed a little bit to the right, you may have been able to see my house! (Sadly, Cabot Street was not as scenic as Lothrop Street for the big parking scene...) So that was exciting.

Now to the film itself – it is one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. It was so perfectly put together that even when looking at places I have known in real life, I was never pulled out of the story. It is also harrowing. My shirt was damp from crying. Seriously, it wrecked me. I got to discuss it with the guy behind the counter at the liquor store and he said he felt the same way. Because OF COURSE I had to go to the liquor store right after seeing this movie. Before I saw MbtS, I ran into a friend at the movie theater at the mall and when I mentioned that I was going to see it at the Cabot the next day, he said to make sure I scheduled some extra therapy sessions because I was going to need them. (On a side note, when I told him I was not in therapy he said, “Really? No one has ever suggested that you go? There have been no court orders?")

I had a few students in my film class who saw it over break and when we discussed it on Wednesday one of them opined that it wasn't as painful to watch it if you took the kid's point of view, rather than the adults. Nonetheless, it will have an impact.

This movie gets a 5 from me (and pretty much everyone one else in the world) and I recommend it for everyone who can drown their sorrows after, who can schedule more therapy and for children 15 and older.

Friday 12/30 – The Arrival – Liberty Tree Mall – alone

This could have just have easily been a review of Fences, because I was still on the fence (heh...get it?) about which one to see when I got to the theater. But the start time was a little more convenient for The Arrival, so there I went.

I was taken quite by surprise by how much I liked this movie. I have grown to appreciate science fiction films thanks to the support of my sci-fi-maniacal husband, but it is rarely going to be my first choice of genre. This film had my favorite kind of sci fi setting – in our world in the near future – and it had some really interesting real science bolstering it up. The premise was the arrival of some unidentified life forms (12 maybe?) over different areas in the world and the different ways humans attempted to interact with them.

Amy Adams played a woman who loses a child early in the film to some sort of horrible disease and is currently living a solitary life of teaching linguistics at a university during the day and drinking wine at home alone at night. When the visitors come, she is tapped to try to learn their language. Jeremy Renner (el Guapo's celebrity doppelganger!) plays a physicist with whom she works. They start off not really trusting one another's perspectives on the aliens, but end up with a strong sense of mutual respect.

The story unfolds a bit more slowly than the usual space movies I have seen, which I appreciated. And the bad guys (there are a few different sets) are generally more nuanced than viewers usually get in this type of movie. (With the exception of a couple of kids who watch way to much Bill O'Riley. Let that be a lesson to you all!) I have some overarching questions about fate and inevitability that are brought up by the way the film ends, so if you see it, message me and explain it please.

I gave this moody little film a 5, I really did. I recommend it to any literate person who likes tentacles, gravity and ponytails.

Monday – 1/2 – Jackie – Liberty Tree Mall – niece Yvonne and sister-in-law Liz

Liz is the sister of el Guapo and she is a big fan of the Kennedys I was thrilled to be invited to go see this film with her and her daughter. The fact that I invited myself in no way diminished my pleasure.

Natalie Portman is amazing! I admired her work in Black Swan, put up with her in the first few Star Wars, loathed her in Beautiful Girls and loved her in Where the Heart Is – which is a horrible movie, nonetheless, she was adorable in it. She plays Jackie Kennedy perfectly. I was never that interested in Jackie. I mean, I think she had an interesting life, but I never read much about her or was that curious. Well, I am now!

The movie is very moody. It has a strange soundtrack that I found really evocative. Her speech, facial expressions and even costumes really drew me to the character, even as I realized that she was not particularly likable. The framing device for the story is an interview with a reporter (played by the reliably dreamy Billy Crudup) in Hyannis shortly after the assassination of JFK. The meat of the movie is the time between when the Kennedy's landed in Dallas and when the president's body is interred at Arlington National Cemetery.

The story is familiar, the parts that stood out to me were the people who supported Jackie at this time. Greta Gerwig plays Nancy Tuckerman, Jackie's best friend and social secretary of the Kennedy White House with warmth. Peter Sarsgaard plays Bobby Kennedy beautifully - trying to be kind to Jackie while reeling from the death of his brother. But the show belongs to Portman and it is impossible for me to imagine anyone else ever playing this part.

I gave this movie a 4.5. It probably should earn a 5 for the quality of production and the stellar performances, but it is a cold movie, I think perhaps intentionally, and while I appreciated it as a work of art, it rarely hit me emotionally. Again, perhaps a flaw of mine and not the film. But in a week of seeing some really remarkable films, it holds up. I recommend it to anyone who likes couture, mild rhotacism and capricious funeral plans. 

So there you have it. If we are Oscaring these contenders, I think Portman and Affleck deserve the big prizes with Michelle Williams (didn't mention her in my Manchester review, but holy cow!) and Sarsgaard providing the best support. La La Land, however, was the most pleasurable movie-going experience of my year, twice! And for me, it is the best picture. 

Christmas Vacation Movie Wrap-Up part 1

I try to go to the movies as often as possible during winter break and this year I did pretty well. With the exception of New Year's Day, I saw a movie every day from Christmas until I went back to work. And so, without further ado – I present part one of my 2016 holiday movie fest.

Monday 12/16 – LION – Liberty Tree Mall – alone

I was supposed to go see SING with my new favorite 5 year old, Logan and some other people with whom he surrounds himself, but I didn't get the message in time. Instead, I went to see LION a movie about a 5 year old who accidentally gets on a train and is taken thousands of miles from his home where he lives on the streets until he is adopted by the two nicest people in Tasmania. Then when he gets older he decides to try to find the village of his childhood using Google earth. The name he remembered isn't correct so he is going by visual clues using math. It's pretty complex.

The first section of the movie was terrifying! This little boy lost in the world was heartbreaking. The only saving grace is that he didn't seem to be aware of the danger he was in and he seemed to have tremendous survival skills. I was able to rest easy (briefly) when Nicole Kidman and a ruddy fellow adopted him. They were lovely! Not physically, good grief, whoever was in charge of wigs for this movie should be tortured. I know these characters were based on real people, but historical accuracy shouldn't be this painful. Aside from the wigs, though, the central part of the movie was lovely.

Dev Patel who gives a wonderfully nuanced performance, is also a stone cold fox. He has always had a pretty face, but good grief - his arms, his hair, even with the requisite millennial scuffle on his face he is still like a Tasmanian-accented angel. I'll stop, it's getting weird. At the end of the middle section, he goes to hospitality school and meets that girl who put Mark Zuckerberg in his place in the first (magnificent) scene in THE SOCIAL NETWORK. It's Rooney Mara. What an annoying name. She is an actress about whom I think, “meh...” And yet, I can't remember a movie I have seen her in where she wasn't wonderful. She always seems to play characters who are internal, but in this movie she is a force of warmth. It isn't a showy part, but she is lovely.

The third section of the movie is the weakest. If you have ever seen a movie in your entire life, it can not possibly come as a surprise that he finds the village. (Or else why the movie?) It squoze the tears out of me that it was looking for. (Well, that's not saying much. Out of the 7 movies I saw this week, I only left one tear-free.) I will not disclose what happens when he finds the village. Just know that there is an emotional pay-off and you wont' be disappointed. 

 

I would recommend this movie for anyone who has a decent attention span, a high tolerance for bad wigs and no children between the ages of 1 and 10. Seriously, if you have small children, you will have a heart attack during the train scene. It was number 5 out of the 7 movies I saw and is nestled right on the border between I loved and I liked a lot. I will give it 4/5 stars.

To Be Resolute

Happy New Year!

I got up early because of my self control last night. (Didn't drink to excess, in bed by 10:30 - I'm a rebel and I'll never be any good!) And I turned on the radio, flush with the joy of a new beginning and "It's the End of the World as We Know It" blasted out of the speakers. Thanks for the heads up, REM. But I press on in my desire to be a better person. And so I present my New Years Resolutions.

1. Read only what I love.

It has been hard to read since I quit smoking. If I am not completely invested in a book, it is much easier to put it aside and watch TV or read the internet. According to my slightly incomplete records I have read at the very least 29548 pages this year. That averages 81 pages a day. Not too shabby. I logged 141 books this year, only 18 of which I didn't complete. Only 15 of these were rereads and 5 were audiobooks.  Gee, so I guess I am posting my reading stats here. I shan't post my reviews this time around but they will be coming soon. I need to read books that grab me so that I can power through.  During the summer, this isn't as big a deal because the days are so long. But during the school year, I need more motivation. So love of the book is what is going to keep me reading.

2. Eat real food and walk.

If I can make something from raw ingredients, do that. Don't buy stuff with preservatives unless it is the only game in town. And walk.

3. Don't feel obligated.

I like to volunteer. I like to go places and do things and meet people. But sometimes I do things out of a sense of obligation. (I am looking at you praise band practice that starts at 8 pm! What are we ROCK STARS?? This is horrible - 8 pm is a coming home time, not a going out time...) This year, if I am only doing it because I feel like I have to and it benefits no one other than my sense of guilt, I am out.

4. Be nicer.

I'm not un-nice, most of the time. But there is always room for improvement.

So there you have it. If I can knock these four out, I should be perfect by this time next year!