Eggs and Idiots

Here's a question - how do you get a fat lady to walk a mile?

The answer is, of course, you can't. You have to wait until she does something incredibly stupid and has to do it on her own. Then you sit back and laugh at her. Ready?

If you find yourself walking to work when it is 18 degrees, you will need your goofy-looking hat, your comfiest scarf, your TRUE GRIT coat, your enormous silky long johns and some sturdy boots. Rainbow leg warmers not pictured.

This morning my older son was sick in bed, as he was yesterday. Fever, chills, muscle aches, thanks for your concern. Anyway - big storm's a comin' so I decided that the thing that this enormous 17 year old who will be sleeping all day needed more than anything else was the presence of his loving mommy.  So I took a family sick day. I have a family member, he is sick, don't make me justify this further.

Since I am a good mother and devoted employee I decided to drop off son the younger at his walking buddy's house and go in to work for an hour or so to set up for the day. Since it was 18 degrees I went out and started up the car, then came back to pack up my stuff.

Wilber (younger son's internet code name) went out to get in the car and then came back to the house to say, "Can you unlock the car please?" or maybe just grunt, "Open the car!" it is all so blurry from this point on.

Says I, "The car is open."

Says he, "Nope"

Says I, "Phrase unspeakable in a family blog!"

Sure enough I had locked the car doors rather than unlocked them when I came back in the house. The emergency key fob wouldn't unlock them. (Apparently they won't work if the car is running. Stupid Ford.) So I called Mr. Crow who had just finished his 30 mile commute to ask his advice. He resigned response, "I'll be home in an hour..."

Stupid Ford or stupid Ford driver - you be the judge.

So at this point, Wilbur walked to his pal's house and I girded my loins (and put on my long johns) for the mile long walk to work. Honest Liz (Scout Finch, if you read the comments!) saw me trudging down the road about 2 blocks from the school and picked me up. Oh how she laughed at my stupidity. But she offered the comforting thought that I did this subconsciously to keep my husband from having to drive home in the apocalyptic blizzard that will be destroying society later today. And I have decided to accept that interpretation because it makes me seem loving and not just stupid.

The upside of this folly is that I realized that it is not a big deal to walk to school at all and if the sidewalks are ever shoveled, I may make it my new habit to do so.

I'll write about the eggs later.